he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
