Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
