dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
