It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just forgot I was standing up.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
