another moral hangover. fuck.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
