i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
