did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize