I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
