There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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