apparently the secret to your success is patron
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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