Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
