dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Randomize
