Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I just googled if crying burns calories
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
