Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
