I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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