there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
