if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
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Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
