What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
