I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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