i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
