in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
