She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
