I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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