I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
