it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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