I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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