Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
