What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
is that a dick in a sweater?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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