Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize