He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize