so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Small penises have feelings too.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Randomize
