your room smells of hookers.
And success
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
