i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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