ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
