ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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