sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
