Taylor Swift is so right about you.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
