Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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