I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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