remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
