i don't like sucking hair
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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