i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
