Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
