hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Randomize
