and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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