he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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