Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
