you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
