Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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