Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
