I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
That's when you crack a 10am beer
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
