I'm gonna have a badass scar
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize