Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
