census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize