God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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