I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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