But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Randomize
