overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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