I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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