Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He felt like a one man threesome
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
