Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I wanna bring you to show and tell
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
