Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
