So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
My dick has a subreddit
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
