She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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