Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
