are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
