I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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